Buckle up, ladies! We’re taking a crash course in Maid of Honor 101 with everything you need to know about what to do, where to go, and how to make it all work!
However, before we get into what it means to be point girl on one of the biggest days of your friend’s life, there are a two things to consider:
According to Elite Daily, the average bridesmaid spends about $1,500 – $1,800 on each wedding. Expect that number to go up if you’re maid of honor, since you have more responsibility than the average bridesmaid.
List of things you may need to pay for are:
- Dress (including alterations) and shoes
- Hair, makeup, and nails on the big day
- Bridal Shower
- Bachelorette Party
- Travel costs
- Wedding gift
More often than not, you can tell when you’re going to be asked to be in the wedding. If it’s not financially possible for you, or if there is another reason you can’t be in the wedding, check out Refinery 29’s Is It Every Okay To Decline Being A Bridesmaid? for tips on how to tell the bride.
Maids of honor and bridesmaids are the unsung heroes of wedding days. Before you agree to be part of the wedding, ask your friend what she’s expecting from you in terms of time commitment, tasks, projects, etc. If you’re up for it, great! If not, be sure to let her know as soon as possible.
1. Get on the same page
Schedule brunch, dinner, or some other time with the bride-to-be to talk about responsibilities and expectations. Traditionally, the maid of honor is responsible for:
- Leader of the pack – it’s your job to coordinate with the other bridesmaids, make sure they follow through with their assigned tasks, and to keep everyone in the loop.
- Filling in when the bride or groom can’t be part of the planning process
- Attending planning events such as picking the dress, cake tastings, venue scouting, etc.
- Provide support – whether the bride is having an emotional meltdown after a rough day or simply wants to hear your thoughts on escort card displays, it’s your job to be there.
- Host/co-host/plan/coordinate the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.
This doesn’t include all your day-of responsibilities (holding the groom’s ring and the bride’s bouquet, your toast, etc.) or any unique assignments the bride has thought of herself. That’s why it’s extremely important to speak to the bride and confirm what your role is. If you don’t think you’re up to the challenge, be honest with her and tell her – we promise both of you will be better off for it!
2. Rally the Troops
Once you’ve agreed to be Maid of Honor, gather the rest of the bridesmaids’ names and contact information. Send an e-mail (because, let’s be honest, does anyone love being part of group texts?) introducing yourself and try to set up a time to meet and get to know each other as a group. In the e-mail, explain that while this is a social gathering, you’ll also be going over the bride’s expectations and dividing the work load. The responsibilities/assignment meeting can also be a separate gathering if you like!
TIP: When scheduling the responsibilities meeting, remind bridesmaids to bring their planners/agendas/personal calendars, pen and paper to take notes with, and ideas/reservations they might have about the wedding.
3. Clear your calendar
Between dress shopping, bridal shower planning, and fittings, your calendar is going to be packed the next couple of months. Make sure that you are available, flexible, and clear when communicating with your bride. Go over time, date, and location of all meetings and confirm with her at least one week in advance. Another thing you may want to consider is who else is supposed to attend these meetings (example: are all bridesmaids required to go shopping for the wedding gown?).
4. Check in with the squad
Keep bridesmaids in the loop. Whether it’s a weekly e-mail, a group text, or a friendly phone call, let them know what’s going on. If you’ve assigned them tasks, ask to see how it’s coming along, and offer help if you can.
5. Get organized
This is probably the most important thing you’ll have to do as Maid of Honor – keeping things organized. As MOH, you’re going to wear a lot of hats so make sure you have a system for keeping track of all your duties.
Have more MOH wisdom? Be sure to comment below!